The Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce

I agree wholeheartedly with Robert Emory that divorced parents still must fulfill their responsibilities to their kids, and children should have rights in divorced families. In this excellent blog posting Robert offers his "Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce." If you can give your children these freedoms, you will have gone a long way toward filling your responsibilities as a parent. Every child whose parents divorce has: The right to love and be loved by both of your parents without feeling guilt or disapproval. The right to be protected from your parents’ anger with each other. The right to be kept out of the middle of your parents’ conflict, including the right not to pick sides, carry

What Should We Tell the Children?

One of the most typical questions asked of me by parents who are beginning the divorce process is, “What should we tell the children and how should we tell them?” Most parents, understandably, feel awful in having to tell their children about their pending divorce and how all their lives are going to be permanently changed. Such a task can generate tremendous pangs of guilt, sadness, and anger. Moreover, parents want to protect their children from the emotional pain of divorce, and want to protect their children from viewing themselves as the cause of the divorce. In this excellent blog posting, Donald Saposnek offers these suggestions for how to tell children of an impending divorce: Tell y

5 Financial Tips for a Smooth(er) Divorce

Divorce is stressful for numerous reasons, but one of the most palpable pain points has to do with finances. Whether you’re currently going through a divorce or have just completed the process, it’s imperative that you give your finances some careful attention. When you marry someone, your lives naturally become intertwined – relationally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and financially. And while it can take months or years to unravel each of these tangles and move on, the financial ramifications can last for decades. If you aren’t careful and fail to make smart, calculated decisions, you could end up setting yourself back. In this article, Jennifer Gretson offers 5 practical tips: Pursue

Establishing the Mediation Environment So the Participants Feel Safe and Supported.

As a mediator, a critical part of my job is to establish the framework and ground rules so that the necessary conversations can take place and move along, ultimately to resolution. In this blog posting, Susan Ingram writes about establishing the essential foundation for a successful mediation. Facilitating conversation Problem-solving Protecting against power imbalances Setting the pace Safekeeping the space If I have done my job well, the couple doesn’t necessarily realize all of the behind-the-scenes effort put into ensuring that the process runs smoothly. If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-415

Is Mediation a Good Idea for Your Divorce?

Divorces can be brutal. Even if you and your spouse are trying to end things reasonably, you may still need to go through months of lengthy courtroom procedures, and face rapidly escalating legal fees from your consulting attorneys. There is, however, a potential alternative option. If you and your spouse are amicable to one another, you could pursue mediation—but is it really a good idea, or is it just a manifestation of wishful thinking? In this blog posting Awais Ahmed writes that the potential value of mediation far outweighs the potential costs of its failure. Unless mediation is completely off the table as an option, it’s worth considering. The first step in mediation is working with y

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Master Now

The aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. It’s all about our acceptance of what is and determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. In this blog posting Rosalind Sedacca offers four vital steps to embracing your divorce as a catalyst to a b

How to Take Charge of Your Divorce Process

Your spouse just demanded a divorce. What is the first thing you should do in the divorce process? The knee-jerk reaction for most people is to call a lawyer. In most cases, that is not the best answer. In this article, Virginia Colin writes the first thing to do is manage your own emotions. If you are angry, be angry, but be careful not to let your anger contribute to a hostile, scary environment for your kids to live in. Next, educate yourself. Learning about your options for what comes next may have a calming effect as you discover that you can have some control over what happens. If you just hire a lawyer to handle everything for you, everything is likely to take a long time, and you are

How to Keep Your Kids Stable When a Marriage Falls Apart

One of the most common questions I am asked when working with families in transition is, “Will my children be OK?” The simple answer to this question is that children will be as “OK” as their parents are. Given that recent statistics reflect 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, it is understandable that parents want to insulate their children from the associated pain. In this blog posting, Melissa Sulkowski writes that children look to their parents to figure out how to make sense of what is happening. They become reliant on their parents’ abilities to meet their needs, and this does not change because of a divorce. These circumstances should be managed in the same way the loss of oxygen

4 Questions to Determine if Mediation is Right for You

The decision to divorce initiates a series of many challenging and difficult decisions, often starting with: What do I do now? What are the right questions to ask? Is divorce mediation right for me? In this blog posting, Katherine Miller offers four yes/no questions as a guide for determining if the mediation process is the right fit given an individual’s desires, abilities, and family circumstances. Do you think you know what is best for your family, or can you recognize it if you see it? Are you willing to make your own decisions about your future. Are you capable of understanding the financial information and the implications of various financial options if they’re explained to you? Can y

Nesting - Will It Work For You?

Nesting is a shared parenting concept that allows the children to stay in the marital home while the parents go back and forth. The idea is that the children will be able to remain in one familiar place, have no concerns about where they are on what day or what they need to take with them. Typically, parents who choose this will be sharing time in the home with the children on an equal basis. In this blog posting Clare Piro offers a number of issues to consider including long term or short term, cost, lack of privacy, significant other, working together, and reassessment. #Divorce #BenefitsofMediation #ChildrenandDivorce #Parenting

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