One of the most common questions I am asked when working with families in transition is, “Will my children be OK?” The simple answer to this question is that children will be as “OK” as their parents are. Given that recent statistics reflect 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, it is understandable that parents want to insulate their children from the associated pain.
In this blog posting, Melissa Sulkowski writes that children look to their parents to figure out how to make sense of what is happening. They become reliant on their parents’ abilities to meet their needs, and this does not change because of a divorce. These circumstances should be managed in the same way the loss of oxygen would be on a plane. Put on your oxygen mask before securing your child’s.
So how do parents provide peace, security and predictability to their children when they are in limbo? Developing a healthy support system and ensuring good self-care are primary ingredients. Schedule something every week for yourself. Even if you don’t have a plan for the time, take the time. Transition is a time of healing.