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  • Writer's pictureAlan Jacobs

Your Brain on Divorce

The brain, dear brain, lights up with luminous ideas and cradles our treasured memories. That organ-control center holding both well wishes and well-being, home of intellect and analysis, reasoning, language, and … our survival instincts.


If the part of the brain that lives under the brow and crown holds Shakespeare, Wordsworth, architectural plans and e=mc2, then, at the base of the brain, closest to the spine, rests our reptilian brain. When the reptilian brain is activated, every threat can be experienced in our body as if it is potentially fatal.


How does this pertain to our brain on divorce? Our divorce-brain feels stalked. And not just in a creepy way by an unwanted admirer — but stalked as if by a predator.


It’s invariably better to have the more evolved, sophisticated, integrated brain in play when formulating major decisions. This requires settling the excited, fearful brain enough so that the whole brain is available.


In this excellent blog posting, Rachel Alexander offers 3 steps to return to a balanced brain.

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