In this excellent, and depressing, blog posting Ada Hasloecher writes about a friend of hers that has been going through the matrimonial legal system for a total of 9 years. Every time she thinks it’s almost over … No! There’s always one more thing.
She says the system is broken, broken, broken … and if only people knew that before they went to court, they would do everything in their power to avoid it.
Here is what Ada's friend told her to share with anyone even thinking of going to court:
If you think you will get your fair share in the end, think again. No one cares about your side of the story. There isn’t enough time or the resources to get to the bottom of it no matter how bad your case may be.
If you think your ex is hiding things from you, the system isn’t going to look for it. You can hire a forensic accountant on your own to prove it, which is just more money you have to spend to get a fair deal.
All your money will end up with your attorney—not you. Your time in the system will ensure that all your money is wrung out of you.
Everything takes what feels like forever—years and years of time. The courts are so backed up. Take a number! You’re not any better than someone standing in a bakery line.
The attorneys will discourage you from moving out of the house while the case is pending. So if your case goes on for 5, 6, 9 years, that’s 5, 6, 9 years of a living hell.
Your children are suffering. Your children will continue to suffer and the system doesn’t care about it. You do, they don’t.
Litigation or mediation. Think about it.