During the early stages of separation a fear many of our clients voice is that their children will prefer being with their more affluent parent because of his/her superior financial capabilities. While it is true that the more affluent parent, either by income or family largesse, is able to provide more and differently than the less affluent parent, the effect this has on the child’s relationship with this parent has more to do with how he/she handles the differences than the differences themselves.
In this blog posting Lisa Brick offers seven steps to provide a way forward that can maintain the love and closeness you have and want to continue with your children while you adjust to your changing circumstances.
Recognize that all that glitters is not gold.
Put your bitterness towards your circumstances and your ex away when you are with your children.
Recognize that the love and opportunities your children have in their lives is a blessing for them, regardless of the source.
Focus on what you can provide your children rather than what you can’t.
Be innovative with how you procure what you and your children need and want.
Educate yourself about money and finances using the plethora of information available on the web, in libraries, and in bookstores.
Look inside yourself and explore the ideas you inherited around money and finances.
By following these seven steps to balance the impact of the income and resource difference between you and your ex you will meet your new circumstances with greater equanimity, teach your children the power in using resources respectfully and effectively, and provide them with solid and useful information about earning, saving, spending, and investing.