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Benefits of Mediation

Divorce mediation gives you the option to privately negotiate a settlement without the large investment of time, money and emotion that adversarial litigation almost always requires.


I will meet with you and your spouse to help you reach an agreement on all of the issues in your divorce.  The rights and interests of both individuals are protected.


Most couples arrive at agreements they can live with – which means they don’t have to fight about any of these issues in court.  Using Falmouth Mediation offers many advantages over court battles:


  • You stay in control.  You have greater control over your decisions as the parties − not the mediator, judge or lawyers − determine the outcome.  Decisions stay where they belong: in your hands.  After all, you know best the condition of your finances, the needs of your children, and your plans for the future.


  • You can do what works best for your family.  In mediation, you don’t have to go by what the law would say about dividing your property or dealing with your kids – you can be creative about solutions and what works best for you.  Working together, mediation participants craft creative solutions that address the particular nuances of their conflict.  These solutions are much more satisfying than 50-50 compromises or court-imposed remedies.  For example, a court might order that you get half of your spouse’s pension, which you wouldn't receive until you spouse reached retirement age.  But if you’d actually much rather keep the house and let you spouse keep the pension, in mediation you can do it that way.


  • You’ll save a ton of money.  Even if you and your spouse both hire consulting lawyers and use other professionals to help you negotiate your divorce, the cost of mediation is much less than that of a contested divorce as resolutions can be achieved within hours or weeks, rather than months or years.


  • You protect your privacy.  Mediation sessions are held in private; nothing that happens in the mediation session goes into the public records.  There is no public docket, so no one else need learn about your personal issues. You avoid the drama and public spectacle of a divorce trail.  Also, Massachusetts law protects the confidentiality of communications made by parties in mediation and prohibits use of these communications in subsequent formal proceedings such as arbitration or trial. Mediation is private; except the ultimate outcome.


  • You’ll have fewer disputes later.  Because you remain in control of the decision, you and your spouse are much more likely to be satisfied with the result and to comply with all the terms of your negotiated agreement.  Parties are able to create agreements with enough structure for predictability and enough flexibility to adapt to change.  Their agreements can even address how they intend to deal with future problems.  Research shows that the majority of people who mediate rather than go to court are satisfied with the process as well as the outcomes.  Mediated agreements have a higher rate of compliance than litigated settlements and court orders.


  • Conflict is dampened, not fueled.  Mediation reduces the hostility, tension and misunderstandings that are ordinarily experienced when people are engaged in conflict.  I am trained to help you communicate effectively and keep you focused on the present and future, not on what happened in the past.  You each have the opportunity to share your concerns, belief, and desires and have them listened to (and maybe even understood) by the other person in a neutral setting, so resentments and misunderstandings can be eased.


  • You can still get legal information and advice.  I can provide legal information that helps you make informed decisions, though I won’t give legal advice to either of you (that’s because I am neutral and don’t represent either of you).  But you and your spouse can both hire lawyers if you wish, to get legal advice and be sure your rights are protected.


  • You set your own pace.  You keep control over when and how often you meet and how much help you get from advisers.  You can arrange your mediation sessions according to personal scheduling needs and emotional and logistical requirements for pacing and time frame. 


  • What have you got to lose?  Deciding to try mediation doesn't mean that you're stuck with it if it doesn't work for you.  You can stop at any point and go on with a contested divorce.  From a financial perspective, you have very little to lose by trying mediation.  Even if it doesn't work, the information sharing and negotiation you do will make your contested divorce process more efficient.


Divorce can be one of the most difficult times in your life.  You are going through a total upheaval that affects nearly every part of your day-to-day existence.  It’s disorienting to have everything suddenly uncertain.  It can be hard to think clearly, understand how things will affect you in the long run, and know what questions to ask in order to get the information you need. 


Contact me for more information or to schedule a FREE, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation to explore the wide range of services that I offer to help you resolve your conflicts.

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