While co-parenting is a great opportunity for children to spend time with both parents – to feel it’s okay to be loved by both of their parents – there are some circumstances that make it problematic. For instance, it can be a challenge if you have a high-conflict ex who thrives on conflict, has a difficult personality, or a personality disorder.
Certainly, experts agree that the outcomes for children of divorce improve when they have positive bonds with both parents. The potential benefits of co-parenting include a child or adolescent achieving better psychological and behavioral adjustment, and enhanced academic performance.
However, few experts discuss the drawbacks of co-parenting when one parent is challenging, has a high conflict personality, or has a personality disorder such as a Narcissism.
In this excellent blog posting, Terry Gaspard offers 7 tips for co-parenting with a challenging or high-conflict ex:
Do set a positive example for your child.
Do keep your child’s best interests in mind.
Do remember the only thing you can control: your behavior!
Do limit contact and set boundaries with your ex.
Do be careful not to admit wrongdoing, especially in writing, since this might be used against you.
Do make a parenting plan a top priority.
Do seek support from counselors, mediators, or other helping professionals.