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  • Writer's pictureAlan Jacobs

Co-Parenting or Parallel Parenting: How to Know What's Right

You’re getting divorced and your biggest worry is about your children. Chances are this is the one thing you and your spouse agree on.

Here is what we know from years of research:

The conflict between you and your ex-spouse is the most damaging thing for your kids.

Having two involved parents is the most healthy thing for your kids (with some exceptions, like physical abuse or active, untreated addictions).

So how do you achieve both of these goals: minimizing conflict and keeping both parents involved in parenting? This may sound next to impossible, especially if this was a problem during your marriage. In this excellent blog posting, Ann Gold Buscho writes that the answer is to find your sweet spot on the spectrum or continuum of co-parenting.

Minimizing conflict between you and your soon-to-be-ex is the most important thing for your children’s recovery and future well-being. The goal of post-divorce parenting is to keep you both actively involved in parenting your children, and with minimal or no conflict.

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