Conflict in Relationships: Can Conflict Create Success in Your Relationship?

What can you do to improve your marriage or intimate relationship when your interactions are mostly negative and conflictual? While this is a common problem, the solutions are far from ordinary. Also, while conflict may appear to be a destructive force in relationships, it can enhance intimacy.

In this excellent blog posting, Terry Gaspard offers ways to deal effectively with conflict in relationships:

• Avoid blame, criticizing, or showing contempt for your partner.

• Avoid character assassinations.

• Remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities.

• State your need in a positive way.

• Use “I” statements rather than “You” statements that can come across as blameful.

• Take a short break if you feel overwhelmed or flooded.

• Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

• Practice having a recovery conversation after an argument.