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  • Writer's pictureAlan Jacobs

How to Talk to Your Ex Without Causing a Fight

By definition, difficult conversations are, well, difficult! They are unpleasant, uncomfortable, and no one’s idea of a good time. They are also very often, exactly the kind of conversations you end up needing to have with your ex. Knowing how to handle those conversations, and how to talk to your ex without losing control or making yourself crazy is an essential post-divorce skill.

Thankfully, because it is a skill, you can learn it. You can learn how to have rational conversations with your ex. You can do that even if you and your ex haven’t had a civilized conversation in years.

Learning how to talk to your ex calmly and productively takes time, patience and practice. It also takes an enormous amount of self-control.

Yet the benefits can be huge.

Being able to talk to your ex like a normal human does wonders for your emotional health and your blood pressure. You become better parents. You also have happier kids because they don’t feel caught in the middle.

In this excellent blog posting, Karen Covey offers 10 tips that can help you transform a potentially awful conversation into one that – even if it’s difficult – is still civilized.

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