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  • Writer's pictureAlan Jacobs

Why Mediation is Better for Your Children

Children face long-term mental health impacts when they become pawns in a divorce or witness endless conflict. However, mediation involves more discussion and less conflict, which helps your children.


If your divorce case involves child custody, you may wish to consider mediation. Here are the top reasons why mediation is better for your children.

  • You work together: While family law litigation emphasizes conflict, mediation focuses on mutually beneficial solutions. It forces you to discuss issues and see things from the other party’s side. This focus on empathy and agreement reduces conflict, which means less stress to kids.

  • Keeps issues between you: Never involve children in disagreements or share information on finances or custody. Mediation makes this rule easier because it occurs outside your home in a mediator’s office. You can keep the issues out of your children’s lives and just let them be kids.

  • Emotional regulation: A mediator may let you vent briefly, but they will not tolerate you continuously bad-mouthing your co-parent. Instead, they will help you focus your anger into solutions and keep the conversation moving forward. This technique enables you to find solutions that work best for your children. It also neutralizes conflict better, so you do not pass that stress on to your kids.

  • Long-term considerations: Mediation looks at the “big picture” where you and your spouse are not merely raising children now but also attending graduations, weddings, and birthday parties. Besides helping you find solutions, mediation also lays the foundation for continued civility between parents after children grow into adults.

  • Consistent rules: Co-parenting arrangements thrive when uniform rules are set for both households. Mediation helps you and your partner agree to these rules. Your kids then benefit from consistent praise and discipline, rather than feeling their parents play off each other.

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