#ChildrenandDivorce

Alan Jacobs

Jan 7, 2020
2 min

Finding Joint Custody Solutions Through Mediation

There are several major advantages to mediating your divorce compared to litigation. Among the biggest advantages is that mediation rewards creativity, cooperation and positive communication between parents on child-related issues. For parents who can look past negative emotions towards each other, the key to a cooperative co-parenting relationship often arises out of mutual respect and thoughtful communication during the mediation process. Thankfully, mediation offers soluti

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Alan Jacobs

Dec 17, 2019
3 min

Modifying a Child Support Order in Massachusetts

In general, Massachusetts child support orders can be modified at any time until the final emancipation of a child through a Complaint for Modification filed by either parent seeking a change in child support. The amount of child support is determined by the Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines. A child support judgment may be modified for any of the following reasons set forth in the Guidelines as follows: There is an inconsistency between the amount of the existing order

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Alan Jacobs

Dec 10, 2019
3 min

Improving Co-Parenting Communication

Divorce signals the end of your marriage, but your relationship with your ex-spouse never really ends if you have children. You are no longer husband and wife, but you are co-parents, and limiting disagreements and working effectively is critical to aiding your children’s development. Of course, finding ways to get along isn’t so easy if there is a high amount of conflict in your relationship. Here are several tips you might find helpful as you work to improve communication w

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Alan Jacobs

Nov 26, 2019
1 min

What You Need to Know About the FAFSA and Divorce

Filling out college financial-aid forms can be confusing for anyone. They may become even more confusing for families where parents are divorced or unwed, or for blended families. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or Fafsa, generally requires personal and financial information from dependent students and their parents in order to determine eligibility for federal financial aid. It’s particularly important to fill out the Fafsa correctly since it “can make a huge d

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Alan Jacobs

Nov 19, 2019
1 min

An Age-By-Age Guide For Helping Children Through Divorce

Research tells us that children of divorce face many risks. It is a major challenge for kids to cope with the drastic change that is inevitable after their parents split and that adjustment is even tougher if they are exposed to the conflict of divorce. How children of divorce respond to news of their parents’ split can also vary wildly depending on their age. Your 4-year-old toddler is probably going to take the news of your divorce a whole lot differently than your 15-year-

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 22, 2019
1 min

How Do You Best Help Your Kids Understand Divorce?

If divorce is confusing for adults, imagine how it is for your kids. It seems like everything in their world is changing and they have no control over any of it. It’s up to you to help your kids understand divorce. We often hear that children are resilient and adaptable. I also hear parents say that the kids know that the marriage is ending but they don’t know much about why. The parents think they’ve kept their disagreements private. They think they’ve shielded the kids from

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 1, 2019
3 min

Resolving the Unknown: How Mediation Helps You know the Future in Custody Cases

A big problem with litigating a custody arrangement are the unknown consequences of asking a judge to determine what’s best for your child. A judge can consider an almost endless variety of child-related factors when determining custody and parenting time. The “best interest of the child” standard is incredibly broad and vague. In a 2017 Appeals Court case, the probate and family court judge’s ruling giving primary physical custody to a parent who had only recently had super

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Alan Jacobs

Sep 17, 2019
2 min

Implementing Your Parenting Plan

Too often, co-parents put together a Parenting Plan, without a lot of consideration for how to implement the plan. Sometimes one or both co-parents are optimistic and think “we’ll just handle things the way we always have…the parenting plan is just there for back-up if we have problems, and we won’t have problems.” Until… ... in this excellent blog posting, Shannon Balk writes that what causes discord will often also cause “problems." For example, tension can be created when

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Alan Jacobs

Aug 27, 2019
3 min

The Positive Ripple Effects of a Successful Divorce Mediation

Picture this: a couple comes together to resolve their divorce issues with a divorce mediator. This results in successful divorce mediation. The couple reaches a fair, equitable agreement that they both can live with. On its face, it is easy to see some immediate benefits provided by the divorce mediation process. The couple saved a significant amount of money by not litigating. In addition, they took control by jointly determining their own settlement terms. They chose not t

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Alan Jacobs

Aug 13, 2019
3 min

Can We Use Divorce Mediation to Handle That?

Mediation can handle any of the issues that might come up in your divorce. The only difference between addressing these issues through mediation or through another technique, like litigation, is how they become resolved. Divorce mediation is a process in which divorcing spouses agree to try to settle their conflicts themselves with the help of a neutral third party. Therefore, if you and your spouse know that you want to separate but are having trouble resolving a particular

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Alan Jacobs

May 28, 2019
3 min

Five Myths of Mediation

There are 5 common misbeliefs about mediation that may be preventing divorcing people from accessing this cost-effective, humanistic approach to divorce. Let’s clear those up now! Misconception 1: People Have to Have an Amicable Relationship in Order to Mediate Fact: A skilled mediator can work with high-conflict clients who neither agree nor get along. All that is required of the parties is a shared willingness and commitment to mediate. This may simply rest upon a shared ap

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Alan Jacobs

May 14, 2019
4 min

50/50 Parenting Time: Is This What’s Best for Children?

In recent years, there has been a definite shift toward parents wanting to have equal parenting time with their children after a divorce. In fact, many states have already adopted co-parenting as the default arrangement in child custody cases, putting the burden of proof on either party to show that this arrangement is not in the best interests of the child. While 50/50 parenting may sound great in theory – the children get to be with both parents for an equal amount of time

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Alan Jacobs

Apr 30, 2019
1 min

10 Things You Need To Know About Divorce And Financial Aid

There are ten things you need to know about divorce and financial aid and these ten things could help you to significantly reduce the cost of your child’s college education. Unfortunately, many couples don’t discuss their child’s college education as part of the divorce negotiations and those that do, focus on who’ll pay for what but overlook financial aid. That’s a mistake. In this excellent blog posting, Mandy Walker talks with Paula Bishop, an expert in financial aid who o

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Alan Jacobs

Apr 23, 2019
2 min

What You Need to Know About Custody & Child Support

If you’re separated or getting a divorce from your kid’s other parent, you probably have a ton of questions about custody and child support. In an ideal world, these are things you wouldn’t have to think about. But in the real world, parents split up, and rarely is it possible to simply go your separate ways. Lots of issues have to be addressed when you have kids in common, starting with where your child lives and how their expenses are paid for. In this excellent blog postin

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Alan Jacobs

Mar 12, 2019
2 min

Child Custody and Mediation

Child custody conflicts are among the most stressful and potentially damaging aspects of a divorce for everyone involved – but is there an alternative? For some the answer may be yes, and can help save peace of mind, psychological well-being, and financial costs. Rather than battle in court over the type of custody agreement for the children, mediation can be an option that offers a less contentious alternative for many parents. Since the goal of most divorcing parents is the

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Alan Jacobs

Mar 5, 2019
1 min

Divorce Mediation - What to Expect

Many times the thought of going to court to resolve issues pending in your divorce is frightening. Accordingly, it makes sense, prior to going to court, to at least attempt to mediate your dissolution matter and resolve as many issues as possible. In this excellent blog posting, Dickinson Wright offers numerous benefits of mediation: Recognizing Common Goals. Addressing the Unique Circumstances of Your Situation. Creating a Safe Place for Communication. Fulfilling Your Childr

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Alan Jacobs

Jan 29, 2019
3 min

The Children’s Bill of Rights

Many of the couples I see in my divorce mediation practice have children. Not surprisingly, I find that some parents are more able than others to keep their conflict separate from their relationship with the children. Understandably, this is no small feat, given all of the emotions, anxieties and fears that can arise during this challenging transition from married to separated/divorced. One of my goals throughout the mediation process is to help parents understand that the wa

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Alan Jacobs

Jan 22, 2019
2 min

After Your Divorce: You’re Not Done Until You Do These Things

What many people don’t realize is that, even though your divorce judgment says who gets what after your divorce, the judgment alone doesn’t automatically divide everything up. You have to do that yourself! Unless you’ve been through a divorce before, it’s not instantly obvious what you’re supposed to do after your divorce is done to make sure everything is separated properly. The judge doesn’t give you a checklist along with your divorce judgment and tell you, “Make sure you

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 8, 2018
2 min

Mediating Child Support Provides Flexibility

When you mediate your divorce, you generally have more flexibility in determining a child support solution that works for everyone. By allowing both parents the flexibility they need to come up with their own answers, without being confined by the usual court process, divorce mediation gives parents the supportive environment they need to create a child support system that truly works. This does not mean that mediating child support is easy, of course. Poorly constructed, cou

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Alan Jacobs

Sep 26, 2018
2 min

How To Handle Money With Your Ex After Divorce

Disagreements about money can put stress on a marriage. Hopefully, like the author of this excellent article, as you went through your divorce, you managed to come up with an amicable solution that left you both satisfied, focusing on the well-being of your children and giving you both a solid new start. However, even with custody and child support figured out, as well as issues like whose health insurance plan your children would be covered by, you may be surprised to disco

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