#Divorce

Alan Jacobs

Jan 14, 2020
2 min

How to Get Your Spouse to Agree to Mediation

One of the initial challenges in mediation that you may face is getting your spouse on board to give it a try. When your marriage is ending, and both of you are going your separate ways, it can be hard to be on the same page about anything, much less mediation. Use the following tips to help you ask (and convince) your spouse to mediate the divorce. Be prepared - As with anything, preparation is critical. While you don't need to be an expert on mediation, having enough backgr

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Alan Jacobs

Jan 7, 2020
2 min

Finding Joint Custody Solutions Through Mediation

There are several major advantages to mediating your divorce compared to litigation. Among the biggest advantages is that mediation rewards creativity, cooperation and positive communication between parents on child-related issues. For parents who can look past negative emotions towards each other, the key to a cooperative co-parenting relationship often arises out of mutual respect and thoughtful communication during the mediation process. Thankfully, mediation offers soluti

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Alan Jacobs

Dec 17, 2019
3 min

Modifying a Child Support Order in Massachusetts

In general, Massachusetts child support orders can be modified at any time until the final emancipation of a child through a Complaint for Modification filed by either parent seeking a change in child support. The amount of child support is determined by the Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines. A child support judgment may be modified for any of the following reasons set forth in the Guidelines as follows: There is an inconsistency between the amount of the existing order

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Alan Jacobs

Dec 10, 2019
3 min

Improving Co-Parenting Communication

Divorce signals the end of your marriage, but your relationship with your ex-spouse never really ends if you have children. You are no longer husband and wife, but you are co-parents, and limiting disagreements and working effectively is critical to aiding your children’s development. Of course, finding ways to get along isn’t so easy if there is a high amount of conflict in your relationship. Here are several tips you might find helpful as you work to improve communication w

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Alan Jacobs

Dec 3, 2019
1 min

Social Media Mistakes To Avoid During Divorce

Divorce is often a messy and stressful life event that leaves you wanting to scream to anyone who will listen. It’s completely normal to want to vent when going through such a grueling process and confiding in someone with a sympathetic ear can help you cope with the daily struggle. Airing your grievances with a few close friends or family members is one thing, but going online to disclose intimate personal details of your breakup with a few hundred acquaintances is another.

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Alan Jacobs

Nov 26, 2019
1 min

What You Need to Know About the FAFSA and Divorce

Filling out college financial-aid forms can be confusing for anyone. They may become even more confusing for families where parents are divorced or unwed, or for blended families. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or Fafsa, generally requires personal and financial information from dependent students and their parents in order to determine eligibility for federal financial aid. It’s particularly important to fill out the Fafsa correctly since it “can make a huge d

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Alan Jacobs

Nov 19, 2019
1 min

An Age-By-Age Guide For Helping Children Through Divorce

Research tells us that children of divorce face many risks. It is a major challenge for kids to cope with the drastic change that is inevitable after their parents split and that adjustment is even tougher if they are exposed to the conflict of divorce. How children of divorce respond to news of their parents’ split can also vary wildly depending on their age. Your 4-year-old toddler is probably going to take the news of your divorce a whole lot differently than your 15-year-

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Alan Jacobs

Nov 12, 2019
1 min

3 Myths About Divorce Mediation [VIDEO]

Susan Ingram, a divorce attorney and mediator, has put together this short video debunking three of the most common misconceptions regarding mediation. Mediation is not for complicated cases. Mediation is not for high net worth cases. Mediation is not for high-conflict cases. #Divorce #Finances #BenefitsofMediation #ChildCustody

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Alan Jacobs

Nov 5, 2019
2 min

I Don't Have to Continue to Pay Alimony If I Lose My Job, Do I?

In every divorce mediation, the payor of alimony is afraid of becoming unable to meet their obligation. This is invariably based on a fear of job loss. It’s true: If you lose your job, the obligation to pay alimony doesn’t go away automatically. Even if the job loss is through no fault of your own, such as an industry-wide layoff, your obligation remains. You are expected to find a comparable, replacement job as soon as possible. Easier said than done, of course. However, bes

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 29, 2019
1 min

Divorce Is Costly. Divorce in Retirement Is Costly and Complicated.

Few things savage your personal finances more than divorce. The closer you are to retirement, the worse the damage. “You’ve got a couple that planned their whole retirement to look one way,” says Nancy Hetrick of Phoenix, a divorce financial analyst, “and now the same money that was going to do one retirement has to do two of them.” This excellent blog posting by Neil Templin in Barrons talks about the impact of "grey divorce." #Divorce #Finances

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 22, 2019
1 min

How Do You Best Help Your Kids Understand Divorce?

If divorce is confusing for adults, imagine how it is for your kids. It seems like everything in their world is changing and they have no control over any of it. It’s up to you to help your kids understand divorce. We often hear that children are resilient and adaptable. I also hear parents say that the kids know that the marriage is ending but they don’t know much about why. The parents think they’ve kept their disagreements private. They think they’ve shielded the kids from

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 15, 2019
1 min

What Happens to the House in Divorce?

You’re getting a divorce and it’s time to figure out major questions like: What happens to the house in a divorce? Who gets the house in a divorce? Should I keep the house? Do I have to refinance after divorce? What is a divorce house buyout and how does it work? In this excellent blog posting by Sharon Pastone of Main Line Family Law Center, Sharon interviewed 3 experts who handle divorce: a realtor, mortgage broker, and an attorney-mediator to explore these questions in mor

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 8, 2019
1 min

Updating Important Information After Divorce

When divorce terms are finalized and binding it does not necessarily mean it is time for the divorcing couple to sit back and relax. Divorce terms can include individual divorce tasks for the couple to complete, such as selling the marital home, dividing up accounts, and changing the title of vehicles. In addition, during this time an individual can have tasks to complete that require their review, attention, and action. Some of these tasks may not be spelled out in the final

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Alan Jacobs

Oct 1, 2019
3 min

Resolving the Unknown: How Mediation Helps You know the Future in Custody Cases

A big problem with litigating a custody arrangement are the unknown consequences of asking a judge to determine what’s best for your child. A judge can consider an almost endless variety of child-related factors when determining custody and parenting time. The “best interest of the child” standard is incredibly broad and vague. In a 2017 Appeals Court case, the probate and family court judge’s ruling giving primary physical custody to a parent who had only recently had super

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Alan Jacobs

Sep 24, 2019
2 min

10 Things You Need To Know About Divorce and Taxes

When you divorce you will be subject to a new set of rules when filing taxes. Understanding the rules governing tax in relation to divorce will help you make the best decision during your divorce process. This excellent article by Rebecca Siggers outlines how divorce changes your tax obligations. The divorce process gives you enough stress, and you do not want the IRS to come for uncleared taxes at your doorstep. The Date You Legally Divorce. Your marital status on December

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Alan Jacobs

Sep 17, 2019
2 min

Implementing Your Parenting Plan

Too often, co-parents put together a Parenting Plan, without a lot of consideration for how to implement the plan. Sometimes one or both co-parents are optimistic and think “we’ll just handle things the way we always have…the parenting plan is just there for back-up if we have problems, and we won’t have problems.” Until… ... in this excellent blog posting, Shannon Balk writes that what causes discord will often also cause “problems." For example, tension can be created when

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Alan Jacobs

Sep 10, 2019
2 min

5 Mediation Strategies for a Successful Divorce Agreement

There are many benefits to choosing mediation for your divorce. And, as Leah Hadley writes in this exellent blog posting, it’s also important to understand and prepare for the challenges. The decisions made in mediation can significantly impact your life for years to come. With that in mind, it can be easy to become overwhelmed during the session if you are not adequately prepared. Likewise, you may make agreements that are not in your best interest if you are tired and worn

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Alan Jacobs

Sep 3, 2019
1 min

Divorce Is Destroying the Finances of Americans Over 50

I've blogged before about "Grey Divorce" - splitting up after age 50 - and the experience's traumatic emotional and financial impacts. Grey divorce may be particularly hazardous to your emotional and financial health, far worse than doing so at younger ages. In this excellent blog posting from Bloomberg, Ben Steverman writes about a wave of new research quantifying the damage. #Divorce #Finances

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Alan Jacobs

Aug 27, 2019
3 min

The Positive Ripple Effects of a Successful Divorce Mediation

Picture this: a couple comes together to resolve their divorce issues with a divorce mediator. This results in successful divorce mediation. The couple reaches a fair, equitable agreement that they both can live with. On its face, it is easy to see some immediate benefits provided by the divorce mediation process. The couple saved a significant amount of money by not litigating. In addition, they took control by jointly determining their own settlement terms. They chose not t

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Alan Jacobs

Aug 20, 2019
3 min

6 Things to Consider When Going Through a Gray Divorce

One would think that divorce in couples over the age of fifty, together for years, would not be as common as for younger couples; however, statistics say otherwise. Gray Divorce is now a trend in the 21st century. In the 1990s; 1 in 10 couples over the age of 50 got divorced. Now; 1 in 4 people are going through Gray Divorce and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down. As a divorce mediator, I have seen an increased number of couples seeking my services after making the consciou

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