One of the initial challenges in mediation that you may face is getting your spouse on board to give it a try. When your marriage is ending, and both of you are going your separate ways, it can be hard to be on the same page about anything, much less mediation. Use the following tips to help you ask (and convince) your spouse to mediate the divorce. Be prepared - As with anything, preparation is critical. While you don't need to be an expert on mediation, having enough backgr

There are several major advantages to mediating your divorce compared to litigation. Among the biggest advantages is that mediation rewards creativity, cooperation and positive communication between parents on child-related issues. For parents who can look past negative emotions towards each other, the key to a cooperative co-parenting relationship often arises out of mutual respect and thoughtful communication during the mediation process. Thankfully, mediation offers soluti

Susan Ingram, a divorce attorney and mediator, has put together this short video debunking three of the most common misconceptions regarding mediation. Mediation is not for complicated cases. Mediation is not for high net worth cases. Mediation is not for high-conflict cases. #Divorce #Finances #BenefitsofMediation #ChildCustody

In every divorce mediation, the payor of alimony is afraid of becoming unable to meet their obligation. This is invariably based on a fear of job loss. It’s true: If you lose your job, the obligation to pay alimony doesn’t go away automatically. Even if the job loss is through no fault of your own, such as an industry-wide layoff, your obligation remains. You are expected to find a comparable, replacement job as soon as possible. Easier said than done, of course. However, bes

You’re getting a divorce and it’s time to figure out major questions like: What happens to the house in a divorce? Who gets the house in a divorce? Should I keep the house? Do I have to refinance after divorce? What is a divorce house buyout and how does it work? In this excellent blog posting by Sharon Pastone of Main Line Family Law Center, Sharon interviewed 3 experts who handle divorce: a realtor, mortgage broker, and an attorney-mediator to explore these questions in mor

A big problem with litigating a custody arrangement are the unknown consequences of asking a judge to determine what’s best for your child. A judge can consider an almost endless variety of child-related factors when determining custody and parenting time. The “best interest of the child” standard is incredibly broad and vague. In a 2017 Appeals Court case, the probate and family court judge’s ruling giving primary physical custody to a parent who had only recently had super

When you divorce you will be subject to a new set of rules when filing taxes. Understanding the rules governing tax in relation to divorce will help you make the best decision during your divorce process. This excellent article by Rebecca Siggers outlines how divorce changes your tax obligations. The divorce process gives you enough stress, and you do not want the IRS to come for uncleared taxes at your doorstep. The Date You Legally Divorce. Your marital status on December

Too often, co-parents put together a Parenting Plan, without a lot of consideration for how to implement the plan. Sometimes one or both co-parents are optimistic and think “we’ll just handle things the way we always have…the parenting plan is just there for back-up if we have problems, and we won’t have problems.” Until… ... in this excellent blog posting, Shannon Balk writes that what causes discord will often also cause “problems." For example, tension can be created when

There are many benefits to choosing mediation for your divorce. And, as Leah Hadley writes in this exellent blog posting, it’s also important to understand and prepare for the challenges. The decisions made in mediation can significantly impact your life for years to come. With that in mind, it can be easy to become overwhelmed during the session if you are not adequately prepared. Likewise, you may make agreements that are not in your best interest if you are tired and worn

Picture this: a couple comes together to resolve their divorce issues with a divorce mediator. This results in successful divorce mediation. The couple reaches a fair, equitable agreement that they both can live with. On its face, it is easy to see some immediate benefits provided by the divorce mediation process. The couple saved a significant amount of money by not litigating. In addition, they took control by jointly determining their own settlement terms. They chose not t

One would think that divorce in couples over the age of fifty, together for years, would not be as common as for younger couples; however, statistics say otherwise. Gray Divorce is now a trend in the 21st century. In the 1990s; 1 in 10 couples over the age of 50 got divorced. Now; 1 in 4 people are going through Gray Divorce and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down. As a divorce mediator, I have seen an increased number of couples seeking my services after making the consciou

Mediation can handle any of the issues that might come up in your divorce. The only difference between addressing these issues through mediation or through another technique, like litigation, is how they become resolved. Divorce mediation is a process in which divorcing spouses agree to try to settle their conflicts themselves with the help of a neutral third party. Therefore, if you and your spouse know that you want to separate but are having trouble resolving a particular

Like Jennifer Safian, a divorce mediator in New York City, I offer couples a free, no obligation consultation so that they can meet and get comfortable with me and get an understanding of the mediation process. At the end of it, I give them a list of the documents that they need to gather for their first appointment, but I never have given them a list of what they should not do. In this excellent video, Jennifer offers 9 important ‘Do-Nots’ that can delay, stall, or even dera

Although common law marriage is not legal in Massachusetts, it is important to recognize that Massachusetts courts often consider premarital behavior in divorce cases. For example, if a spouse files for divorce after only two years of marriage, the outcome of his or her divorce is likely to be quite different if the parties lived together for ten years before getting married versus a 2-year marriage involving parties who never cohabitated before getting married. The impact of

An impending divorce is profoundly stressful and vulnerable because of the potential loss and uncertainty of so many areas of life, including partnership, financial security, parenting time, home, family relationships, and future life plans. Given these circumstances, the choice about how to get a divorce is all the more crucial. In this excellent blog posting by Divorce Magazine, Stuart Watson lists ten benefits of divorce mediation as compared to a standard, lawyer-driven d

Thinking about “the public record” when you’re in the middle of a divorce isn’t easy. Your head is already spinning, your heart is shredded, and your entire world is falling apart. Keeping your private life out of public divorce records is just not your #1 priority at that point. Yet, it matters – and not just if you ever plan on running for public office. Employers today routinely run background checks on job applicants. While you may think that a potential employer clearly

The antagonistic nature of litigation often results in otherwise cooperative people thinking that their spouse is out to get them, even though they’re not. It creates a win or lose mentality that convinces people they can’t “win” unless their spouse “loses”, and it sets up parents to struggle with co-parenting for the rest of their lives. Only the healthiest of individuals can survive the process with less than utter hostility toward their prior mate. In this excellent blog p

Many people don’t realize that divorce mediation can include outside experts who assist divorcing spouses with complex financial issues. Parties will often retain third-parties with special training to assist in the divorce, such as a CPA, business planner or financial planner. For high net worth individuals, experts can also include tax professionals, appraisers, and employment benefit experts. Thankfully, the experts and financial appraisers used in litigation can also be u

As an experienced divorce mediator, I often hear from potential clients in long term marriages or relationships that come in for a divorce that it does not seem fair that his or her spouse wants x or that he or she is entitled to x in their divorce agreement. Some individuals come in convinced that they will go to trial no matter what. That is a terrible way to think. With emotions so high, I understand that reaction but it is not a good one. Litigants in long term marriages

Valuing and dividing retirement accounts is more complex than most divorcing couples expect. In this excellent blog posting, the Divorce Strategies Group offers the answers to five common questions regarding retirement accounts. Can a retirement account be divided without triggering taxes? Is a retirement plan more or less valuable when compared to other assets? Is a retirement account separate property? Can you avoid the IRS penalty for early withdrawal in divorce? Should yo