During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or anger. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. In this excellent article Rosalind Sedacca offers tips for more effective communication with your children.
Keep your conversations private.
Listen carefully to get the gist of what they are saying, even if you don’t like the message.
Focus more on what happened rather than “why.”
Avoid the lectures, the smug ”I told you so’s,” the moralizing put-downs or other forms of embarrassing your children, especially if others are around.