What do people in business do when they’re facing a crisis? They ask, “What’s the best practice to follow in a situation like this? What do successful companies do?”
As Howard Irving writes, our society would benefit greatly if divorcing parents could be convinced to ask, “What’s the best practice now that our marriage is over? What have others done in our situation? What dangers should we avoid? What path should we take?”
Of course a marriage is not a business. Its end is more often marked by regret, anger, and revenge than by the ability to ask wise, logical questions. However, we in the West have had enough experience with divorce to know that there definitely is a best practice for divorcing parents to follow.
It’s called mediation, a voluntary process with an impartial third party, a family mediator. The mediator helps couples identify, clarify, and come to an agreement on the major issues between the parents for the sake of the children. Each parent retains a lawyer during this process, but the goal of everyone involved is to avoid the emotional and financial costs of pursuing divorce through the adversary court system.