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  • Writer's pictureAlan Jacobs

20 Things to Know About Divorce Mediation


In this excellent blog posting, Dana Westreich Hirt lists twenty things that people going through a divorce - and the many people who know them - might find helpful about divorce mediation:

  1. Divorce is complicated.

  2. Fighting makes everything worse.

  3. Make sure your mediator is neutral.

  4. Informed decision-making is key.

  5. Mediators are trained to reflect your “interests”, not your rights.

  6. Something can be inequitable, but still be legal.

  7. Lawyers get a bad rap.

  8. Mediation is a delicate balance.

  9. Enough with the venting.

  10. One partner is always further along than the other.

  11. Emotional uncoupling is a process.

  12. Mediators are people, too.

  13. It’s not the mediator’s job to solve your problems.

  14. Mediators are bound by ethics of confidentiality.

  15. Co-parenting is not the same as parallel parenting.

  16. “Be brief; be informative; be friendly; be firm.”

  17. Be as positive as possible.

  18. Listen to understand, not to react.

  19. Focus forward.

  20. No parenting agreement is ideal.

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