In this excellent blog posting, Dana Westreich Hirt lists twenty things that people going through a divorce - and the many people who know them - might find helpful about divorce mediation:

1. Divorce is complicated.

2. Fighting makes everything worse.

3. Make sure your mediator is neutral.

4. Informed decision-making is key.

5. Mediators are trained to reflect your “interests”, not your rights.

6. Something can be inequitable, but still be legal.

7. Lawyers get a bad rap.

8. Mediation is a delicate balance.

9. Enough with the venting.

10. One partner is always further along than the other.

11. Emotional uncoupling is a process.

12. Mediators are people, too.

13. It’s not the mediator’s job to solve your problems.

14. Mediators are bound by ethics of confidentiality.

15. Co-parenting is not the same as parallel parenting.

16. “Be brief; be informative; be friendly; be firm.”

17. Be as positive as possible.

18. Listen to understand, not to react.

19. Focus forward.

20. No parenting agreement is ideal.

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