Whose Side Are You On? The Same Side!
In divorce mediation Mom and Dad are on the same side, working together to resolve issues affecting the whole family, so everyone can move forward in the best possible way. In this excellent article, Rachel Alexander writes that this act of cooperation provides a supportive and reassuring message for kids. The children see their parents acting as a unit and behaving as their evolved selves. Parents are managing the situation, addressing their children’s needs, and demonstrating leadership and integrity. This exemplifies parents nourishing their children, which is, after all, the dynamic of a functional family.
It is the antithesis of what divorce often engenders—a disordered, contentious atmosphere wherein parents regress and aggress against one another, forcing their kids into the fray. Even when parents don’t directly involve their children but behave as adversaries instead of allies, the effect on their children can be deleterious. Children can feel destabilized and fearful. Their parents—the people responsible for their care—are divided, and they now have less of a support team or system than they previously depended upon.