Like Susan Ingram the majority of the couples I see in divorce mediation have children. Early on in the mediation process, when I ask them to identify their most important concerns, they invariably say that they are most concerned about the well being of their children during their separation and divorce process – and continuing after they are divorced.
In this excellent blog posting, Susan writes that with an uncontested divorce, couples reache an agreement through mediation that they both feel is fair and equitable – and that focuses on the best interests of their children. Thus, by choosing mediation, they are the ones making the important decisions about their children.
Contrast this scenario with a litigated divorce case, in which each of the couple’s lawyers, in battling for only his or her client’s interests, end up making the divorce more contentious and costly. And, of course, in a litigated divorce case, the judge would likely be making decisions about the children that, in the vast majority of cases, are better left to the parents.