We all know that divorce is hard on kids. My clients truly worry about their children and want to put their children first. But it can be really hard to do that. When we feel threatened ourselves—at risk, angry and scared—it can be really hard to keep ourselves, as parents, out of the emotional fray and remember our priorities.
In this blog posting, Katherine Miller writes about asking her clients to write a story they would like their children to tell about their parents’ divorce:
"If this was very successful, and you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse were to get through a divorce in a way that minimized the difficulty and pain for your children, and supported them in the best way you possibly could, what would they say about your divorce? What would they say about your personal actions? What would you want that to be?"
These are hard questions. Oftentimes, what our clients would want their children to say about them, individually and as parents together is not what is actually happening.